Drive By Wires

quarterly meeting

Glad to be back in my Tumblr. I nice refuge for my typing fingers & hands to run away to express communicate the thoughts and desires of my mind. So today is Sunday.

I took a walk last night, I guess I left here about 3:30 am and walking around the hood. I hadn’t been out much that day so I was using the opportunity to move my legs, get some blood flowing, etc. but more importantly I was trying to open up my mind and think. That’s all I ever do… THINK… always THINKING… tying to THINK of some answer to some problem or issue I’m having. I don’t really have any time to do anything else but try to solve my problems, that’s what I spend my days doing.

So lets talk about/list what I perceive my current problems to be; In no particular order:

1. Money - They say money cannot buy you everything. But honestly, it can allow you to resolve enough of your problems that you can concentrate your efforts on the last few things the money itself cannot solve for you. When you don’t have money, you just have even more problems you have to “concentrate” on to resolve.
2. Companionship - Not too long ago my 3rd girlfriend and I parted ways. She and I were close friends for a good while before we came together but there were some problems that split us apart again. Now I feel even more alone than I did before because now I need to totally leave her alone, out of my mind, and find something else to think about. That’s not too easy when you have no other options to consider. It doesn’t feel good at all, really.
3. Family Matters - My mom’s income isn’t enough to keep everything going 100% smoothly but they’ve kept ok thus far. My sister is almost ready for her license but she needs a car. All this relates right back to the money issue (No. 1).
4. Personal Health/Well-being - It’s hard to eat healthy and enjoy what you eat. Especially in respect to what you’ve been eating for the past 18 years.
5. School/Professional career - Lets me not even start on this one. It’s a ball of shit I cannot wait to be done yet wet it plans to haunt me for years to come.
6. Religion - … Does God really exist?

Take all the issues stemming from these categories and you have why I pull out my hair on a daily basis. Always thinking of how I can do better in these areas … “Where can I get money from for ______ ?” …

“What should I be doing differently with the females?” …

“What am I doing wrong in my diet?” ….

“Why do I spend so much money on food? I try to be conservative but it’s next to impossible without either going down an unhealthy route or eating something I don’t desire.” …

“If he (God) is really there then how does he expect me to believe if he wont give me clear proof?”

… etc. .. etc.. .. etc…