Drive By Wires

yeah some of fools are evil but take their tools and runnn

Music:

• Slum Village -  Where Do We Go From here
• Jay-Z - As Real As It Gets (Feat. Young Jeezy)
• Wale - BASEhead
• Charles Hamilton - The Warmth, Hamiltonized
• N.E.R.D. - Love Bomb

Very fitting song for the moment….

Is it too little too late for me? Can I still make a name for myself? Leave a mark?

I am asking that question today, Sunday April 10, 2011 as I sit facing the week ahead now precharged with the damnation dropped upon me by my friend last week.

In hind sight I am angry. But I need an explanation for other for my performance record. I know I didn’t sandbag my academics, but then again I didn’t push myself either. I know it was a lack of interest in a lot of the raw material and subject matter we done day-in-and-out, and no motivation to the best in grades…. nah, I was not directly interested in that. I was interested in making a change, doing something, being active, putting my skills to use… hence why the things that I DID do are now done.

So whats bad in the present is how I look on paper. My resume cannot hold all the details of the actions and thinking I execute on a daily basis. My resume cannot explain my passion or potential. But I am continuously graded on paper, so I am the underdog.

Lets refer to my friend from last week as Don. I’m feeling pretty upset I didn’t get this idea like Don did, as strongly, with the imperative importance Don had from Day 1. I knew I had a mission to complete my degree program and get a great job to help support my family. But I did not have the desire to be great just because. Anything I go for and/or achieve has a damn good reason if not for not only my own sanity, then for the well-being of my family, or a greater impact on society/world. And that is still how it stands today but what is different today is that I am nearly sick and tired of being under rated on paper. The world has the facts on me backwards and now I will be spending five years correcting it. But thats okay, as long as my family is still cool and moving up the ladder, the world can wait because it was their mistake.

So yeah with all the prospects for post-graduation employment not looking so hot, and a sharp need to leave my footprint on the world, overshadowing my new nemesis Don, I guess my work load increased. But I believe in myself just as strongly as I ever did, and I have no doubts in my ABILITIES, but at the mercy of the those who do not know how to see these things in me…. I loose some control. So my challenge is taking that control back and making my brand indisputable… so much so I can spit on the shoes of those who doubted in my past.