Drive By Wires

slippery slopes can’t say a word to this cliff

So I think today I’ve starting to come to grips, reality, understanding… acceptance… that life for me will not be easy any more. Especially over the next year. Things are going to get beyond hairy and my attempts to countermeasure the numerous problems I should expect to encounter are not guaranteed to be effective to any degree. All along I’ve joked about, and sometimes seriously entertained the idea that I’m being punished for my wrong-doings from earlier in my life … well this last year in school will probably take the cake and bake it… twice.

I pray that I start early to ward off potential problems.
I pray that I stay vigilant in my fight against my own demise.
I pray that my family stays strong, nurtured, and continues to develop positively.
I pray that I reach my end goal and at least make it out of here on time.

I can not promise that I won’t make mistakes - But I promise I will try not to.
I can not do everything at once - But I promise to do as much as I can.
I can not expect others to help - But I promise I will ask anyway.

I feel that (from the ingrained experiences of my past)… that I can wish all I want, and I can pray all day, but I can not have confidence I will win without reason based on realistic substance.